So I have this weird hobby. I love photography and often take my camera along as I travel and attend various events. One habit is searching out cheesy Christian t-shirts and taking a picture. The cheesier the better. You may wonder, “what makes a Christian t-shirt cheesy?” Good question. I mean, on the surface it seems a bit mean-spirited to take a picture of a t-shirt someone is wearing and obviously values. That’s not the goal of this epic quest. I never include the faces of the, em, victims.

There seems to be a genuine lack of creativity in designing Christian t-shirts. Most mass producers take a popular saying or marketing scheme in our culture and spiritualize it. Abercrombie and Fitch becomes “ABreadCrumb and Fish.” Seriously? “Air Jordan” becomes “Air Jesus.” You get the idea. I think they use Jedi mind tricks to get unsuspecting victims to wear their swag. In my heart I feel these victims will one day come to their senses and think, “What am I wearing?” I have a dream . . .

So, with that, in the spirit of saving people from obvious embarrassment and wake them from their marketing hypnosis, I give you Cheesy Christian t-shirts.

Please forgive us If you own one of the shirts we present. We are trying to save you from yourself. We want to help you. This is a nobel quest. We plan to post a few pictures a week to liberate you from this atrocity.

**Before you flood our email with nasty grams, know my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek. Laugh a little. Good for the soul.

Cheesy Christian T-Shirt of the Day (New entry)

I mean, who doesn’t want to “Be the Man?” I think nothing represents “The Man” more than a picture of a dude wearing a “Wife-Beater” t-shirt, gauged ear, G.I. Joe beard, and an ultra cool tattoo of Jesus that reads, “He died for me.” When I think about being “The Man” this is always what comes to my mind. Who is that dude? A.J. from the Backstreet Boys? Oh yeah, “Backstreet’s back Alright!”

Cheesy Rating Scale: 1-10. 1 = acceptable. 5 = borderline but prone to criticism. 10 = total embarrassment

Cheesy T-shirt: “The Man” t-shirt

Cheesy rating: 10

Creative t-shirt rating: This shirt sets Christianity back 100 years. I do give points for using AJ from the Backstreet Boys as your inspiration but immediately deduct them for using AJ as the inspiration for your t-shirt.

Comments: If you want to be “The Man,” NEVER wear this t-shirt in public. Not only will you NOT be “The Man,” but you will drop to creeper status with all of your friends. No one wants to be “That guy.”

Past Winners (or Losers)

Very clever Christian t-shirt idea. “Just add Jesus as your friend.” This reminds me of “Buddy Jesus.” Because Jesus just wants to pal around with you and post inspirational messages to your Facebook page. Begs the question, “What Would Jesus Post?” I see a new t-shirt in the future. Perhaps an entire youth sermon entitled, “If Jesus was your Facebook friend, what would you have to change about your Facebook page?” Bad theology t-shirt with a huge cheese factor. This is not the bacon.

Cheesy Rating Scale: 1-10. 1 = acceptable. 5 = borderline but prone to criticism. 10 = total embarrassment

Cheesy T-shirt: “faithbook” Shirt

Cheesy rating: 9

Creative t-shirt rating: I award you no points for creativity and may the Lord have mercy on your soul.

Comments: Facebook is a creative idea that enhances the way people communicate. “Faithbook” t-shirt is a terrible idea that enhances the perception that all Christians are mouth breathers.

 

Oh, I see what you did here. You took the delicious chocolate drink “YooHoo” and turned into a Christian t-shirt. Clever.

Who doesn’t like an ice-cold Yoohoo? I’m not allowed to drink this chocolate goodness. I have what my doctor calls a “weight issue.” Please. I lost 15 pounds one time. Pretty cool, right? No. When I looked in the mirror I found it. It just shifted to the other side of my body. “Oh, there you are!” I digress.

Anyway, I give you the Chessy T-shirt of the day.

Cheesy Rating Scale: 1-10. 1 = acceptable. 5 = borderline but prone to criticism. 10 = total embarrassment.

Cheesy T-shirt: “YOUWHO” Shirt

Cheesy rating: 8

Creative t-shirt rating: We are all worse off by the amount of creativity it took to dream up this shirt. You’re better than this Christian t-shirt company!

Comments: Parents, if your child is acting like a child on drugs, (like a child in Wal-Mart who has succumbed to whatever they pump into the air and is begging you for a toy like their life depends on it) about buying this shirt, just say no and walk away. You will save them from public ridicule and the loss of major cool points.

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